Now that I’m a legit expat living life in Panama, the lessons are coming hard and fast. 😆

Ken and I arrived in Panamá on June 11, 2021, worked on our permanent residency in the city for a couple of weeks, then Ken went back to the U.S. and I headed for my temporary home in Pedasí.

A month later, I came home…to the tiny community of Cañas.

After several visits and years of waiting, it felt familiar and exactly where I was supposed to be.

Life is more than good here. Other than car challenges (more on that later), it’s been a smooth and wonderfully stimulating ride.

We’re a little more than halfway through construction of our home, which will double as the Vista Cañas Nature & Book Retreat. The problems I mentally prepared myself for haven’t come to fruition (yet).

Of course, everyone’s experience here is unique. There are many layers that impact it…who you are, where you are, and just plain luck.

Here’s a LIGHTHEARTED list of all that I’ve learned so far living life in Panama…more to come FOR SURE 😆:

1. The best way to preserve your sanity is to lose ALL expectations.
   
   
2. Never assume you'll be taking a HOT shower.
   
   
3. “Panama Time” is real…most of the time it’s a blessing, occasionally it’s a pain in the ass.
   
   
4. How to run a generator.
   
   
5. Always bring some tissue with you because bathrooms, toilet paper is not guaranteed.
   
   
6. The actual purpose of surge protectors and voltage regulators.
   
   
7. Never zone out while driving or you might miss that parked car, sleeping dog, massive pothole, herd of cows or car-totaling speed bump smack in the middle of the road.
   
   
8. Even though the label is the same, it's probably not. (This applies to just about everything.)
   
   
9. Things aren't as inexpensive here as I had expected. 
   
   
10. Many of the expats who live here aren't very curious or adventurous.
    
    
11. No matter how adamant someone is that something is going to happen or get fixed, don’t believe it until it actually happens or gets fixed. (See #3)
    
    
12. Always make sure your mobile phone is fully charged.
    
    
13. NEVER tell a Panamanian “No hurry!”
    
    
14. It's not as easy as you might think to find peace and tranquility in Panamá. (You'll hear "Jake brakes," fireworks and giant boom boxes where you least expect them.)
     
15. Panamanians don't knock on doors…they either stay in their car and honk or stand near the door and shout “Bueno!”. If you don't come out, they leave.
    
    
16. If you use a water bottle, sterilize it at least once a week or you’ll be sorry.
    
    
17. Some plants here can wreck you and a lot of creatures will bite you so never take your eye off the path and always hike in long pants.
    
    
18. Pre-inspect the spot you plan on sitting outside VERY closely.
    
    
19. A mobile hot spot and Starlink are godsends. 
    
    
20. Even if you’re just driving up the road, see #12 and bring enough water, snacks, meds, and toilet paper to get you through a minimum of 6 hours…plus a book and a phone charger.
    
    
21. Don’t bother trying to joke in Spanish…it usually doesn’t translate.
    
    
22. When outside of Panama City, plan on greeting everyone you pass by and all who enter the building you’re in. (This is one of the most endearing things about Panamá ❤️)
    
    
23. Begin every text with a greeting.
    
    
24. Don't buy a used car sight unseen (unless it's from a meticulous expat).
    
    
25. No matter how cute they look, do NOT pick up the cute toads or caterpillars.
    
    
26. If you still care what people think about you, life will be extra challenging here.
    
    
27. Never wear a tank top or flip flops into a government office.
    
    
28. Chitras (AKA no-see-ums) are the spawn of Satan.
    
    
29. The sweet potatoes and spinach are NOT the same here. 
    
    
30. Gas dryers in Panamá look like they're on fire when they are drying your clothes.
    
    
31. Towns that are close together can have completely different vibes.
    
    
32. Ask for forgiveness, not permission. (I'm no longer a neurotic rule follower!)
    
    
33. EVERYTHING has to be notarized.
    
    
34. Notaries do not make the copy of the paper(s) you need notarized.
    
    
35. Invest in a a highly qualified mechanic to thoroughly check out the used car you’re considering buying
    
    
36. My excellent car mechanic is as important to me as my doctor. 
    
    
37. Life is not simpler here...it's different.
    
    
38. Make sure you have a good translator, a great attorney and, if you will be running a business, an excellent accountant.
    
    
39. Most accountants here don't speak English.
    
    
40. Get used to having some level of sweat on your body at some point every day.
    
    
41. If you feel something crawling on you, don’t just brush it away without checking to see what it is first.
    
    
42. Relax, you don’t have to give up Amazon…you just give up free shipping.
    
    
43. It’s just not a good idea to walk barefoot into a dark room or put on your shoes without checking them first.
    
    
44. Ask for help…both Panamanians and fellow expats genuinely like to lend a hand here.
    
    
45. If you bring or buy only one appliance, make it an Instant Pot.
    
    
46. Before you get in a taxi in Panama City, you need to agree on the fare…check the price on Uber before they arrive, so you’re empowered to negotiate.
    
    
47. WhatsApp is way more important than Facebook in Panamá.
    
    
48. Most of the grocery stores are owned by Chinese people and are known as “Chinos.”
    
    
49. While natural is nice, it doesn’t always cut it…especially when it comes to deodorant and bug spray.
    
    
50. Eat at the local fondas for the best deals.
    
    
51. 99.9% of the fondas have the same menu choices and much of it is fried.
    
    
52. As helpful as the online expat groups are, you absolutely don’t know the real truth until your boots are on the ground here.
    
    
53. If you're buying any real estate, do some R&D on the reputation of the seller, builder, etc.
    
    
54. It’s entirely possible for something to be appreciated AND annoying as f*ck (like bats, for instance).
    
    
55. It’s often safer to walk in the street than on the sidewalk.
    
    
56. Never leave the window in your car open when you’re not in it.
    
    
57. If you live outside of the city, it's very likely the days of flushing toilet paper down the toilet are over.
    
    
58. Dab, don’t wipe…the toilet paper here starts breaking down before it hits the water.
    
    
59. Any trash can going in a bathroom needs a cover with a foot pedal for opening.
    
    
60. Several drops of essential oil on a cotton ball improves the situation created by #57.
    
    
61. A basic understanding of cars will save you a lot of grief.
    
    
62. Even though the Chino stores have meat, it’s in your best interest to choose it carefully or pay the consequences. Better yet, pay more and get it from a butcher.
    
    
63. It’s super important to hire the right person for the job or you may just be paying the wrong person to f*ck it up more.
    
    
64. Birds of a feather really do flock together.
    
    
65. Always make sure you have flashlights and lanterns on hand and enough batteries to keep them working indefinitely.
    
    
66. Food will stay cold in a fridge and frozen in a freezer for a long time if you don't open the door.
    
    
67. Don’t throw ANY food waste in the trash unless it’s being collected that day. (If you have one, give your garbage disposal a hug today.)
    
    
68. Improvising and substituting are super valuable skills here.
    
    
69. Letting go and doing without are super powers.
    
    
70. You really don’t need to bring all the clothes you think you need.
    
    
71. To minimize mental trauma and significant physical challenges, only rent from Airbnb Superhosts whenever possible. Even then, you may still be surprised at the least and traumatized at worst.
    
    
72. Even necklaces can grow mold in Panamá.
    
    
73. Trash day is like a mini-holiday.
    
    
74. Being a good driver somewhere else does not make you a good driver in Panamá.
    
    
75. Ceiling fans and pedestal fans are absolute treasures.
    
    
76. Once bats get into your roof, it’s almost impossible to get them out.
    
    
77. There’s something strange about the garlic here (like many other things here, it’s made in China and, word has it, it’s bleached).
    
    
78. Shake everything out before you let it touch your body.
    
    
79. They may look sweet, but mama cows can (and will) kill you to protect their babies.
    
    
80. When you buy a used car from a dealer, you get a 6 month warranty whether it’s mentioned or not.
    
    
81. The stars are more beautiful in Panamá.
    
    
82. Panamá is the land of roadside trenches and they haven't yet grasped the value of a shoulder.
    
    
83. If you want to be 100% sure your produce is organic, you’ll need to grow it yourself.
    
    
84. It doesn’t get much better than waking to the sound of howler monkeys.
    
    
85. Howler monkeys are soothed by the sound of Enya!
    
    
86. Once you’ve eaten homemade yogurt, you’ll never go back.
    
    
87. Making your own bread is super easy and totally worth it.
    
    
88. Panamanians like to burn things, including all of the their land at the end of the dry season. 
    
    
89. Don't blindly trust someone just because they're an expat like you.
    
    
90. The recycling containers you see around town are most likely just colorful trash cans.
    
    
91. Always, always, always take the walk and don’t be afraid to go further than you think you should.
    
    
92. There are still such a thing as a deserted beach in Panamá.
    
    
93. Regardless of how you feel about Elon Musk, Starlink is GLORIOUS. 
    
    
94. It can ALWAYS be worse.

Every lesson I’ve learned (and will learn in the future) is deeply appreciated. Despite the minor challenges, being a Panamá expat is hands-down one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

NEXT POST: 16. Tips for Cheap Living in Panama